my rant

lmao so basically, this is what i wrote last night. i never knew i could write something for this long. maybe it was some sort of too caught up in the moment or smth like that. hahaha i dunno. anyway so this is my rant. fck grammar, i wrote this at 3am. expect nothing.

i'm worrying about something called future. there's uncertainty. in which things might change througout the times. you won't know what fate has on you. far from that.

i don't know if it's really the best choice though. because i can't seem to find myself there. among those people. something is off, and i can sense it.

however, it's not like i'm 100% sure of it as well. i don't know if my mind only plays a trick on me at the moment. telling me to be unsure about my choices. because maybe, maybe it is fun to play with insecurity.

i'm not regreting anything though. i know there's no point of doing it so. i'm just worried, about what the future holds.

i do understand. the best way might not be the easiest way. but i'm scared, that i might realise it for too late, when i simply can't back off anymore. at all. to keep doing things that i don't feel like, for the rest of my life. maybe not for the rest. but long enough.

thinking for too much is really unhealthy. this is one of my (bad) traits that i can't seem to throw off, even when I (really) want to. but it's normal to worry about uncertainty right? esp when it's about your own future. because you'll be the one who's living it.

I just want grasp what is already there. as simple as that. i'm not as complicated as it seems. no, i didn't even seem complicated at all, i figure.

to be quite honest, i feel scary as shit, but i also feel like the biggest douche around. whining all the times, like some sort of ungrateful kid. i feel awful, i don't even know myself right now..

it's terrifying how your own mind can do such things for you. rather than you control it, it's doing its own wonders. put your life in fear. not the most important one in a way, though. but still.

young, wild and free. the best descriptions for myself that i can only think of right now. what's annoying is that -as i said before- things might change, throughout the times. whereas maybe, for the next 3? 5? or 7 years, i'm not as young (of course), wild and free as i'm now anymore.

what if i'm listening to myself right now? what if i'm not? which I will regret? I'm uncertain of myself. I saw lots of people changed. will i do too?

what if i regret this? what if i regret that? people change, of course. but there's the amount of it. how much it will be. perhaps to the degree in which he/she become a whole new person? or just slight changes here and there? no one knows. what about me? how much i will change?

I know i have done, am doing and (of course) will keep doing stupid things and mistakes. it's human nature after all. what could you expect. as they said "life didn't come with instructions". so yeah, it's normal to act out of line sometimes (i said sometimes okay? not all the times). but I don't regret it at all, for doing stupid things (i regret it at one point though. but there's much more of it). i learnt from there, and that's what makes me right now. so whatever stupid things i'll decide to make in the future, please understand, it's just my nature (it's people's nature). i'm comfortable from learning through my own experiences. it made me realised deeply, that there's lots of things i still need to see. and no, it's not some stupid things like using drugs or smth like that. i'm not that stupid.

tired as f*ck, i can't think properly. having sleepless nights. it's really disturbing, and that's why i'm writing this right now (it's 3am fyi, tried to sleep from 2-3 hours ago. but can't). i just need to get these out of my chest.

with this, i just hope that it could helps me relief some stress i'm having right now. hopefully.

now the question is. what i should do with my own life exactly?

ps. i hungry. really really hungry.
pss. seriously can't sleep. and i'm having morning class today. until 5pm. /sigh
psss. take me to koreaaaaa

[lyrics] Tablo ft. Taeyang- Tomorrow

No no no no no tomorrow
No no no no no tomorrow

사랑은 받는다고 갖는 게
시간은 걷는다고 가는 게
사람은 숨 쉰다고 사는 게 아닌데

Baby there's no
No tomorrow
그때 그때로
난 멈춰있고
마지막
그 순간에 머문 시간
너에겐
그전 지난날이지만
Baby there's no no no no no
(No more) tomorrow
(Till you comeback everyday is yesterday)
Baby there's no no no no no
(No more) tomorrow

가슴을 찢단 그 기억이 달력을 찢고
한 해처럼 저물어 가 너를 잊고
사는 척 하기도 해
아직도 내 세상은 변함없서
나만 없어
사람들은 다 돌아보면
웃게 되는 거래
니를 향했던 고개를 틀기도 힘든 내게
듣기도 싫은데 왜 떠들까
난 여기서 머문다
하지 마라 내일은
해가 뜬다는 말
너와의 밤보다
캄캄한 아침일 테니
비 온 뒤에 땅이 굳는다는 말
너와의 금심보다
답답한 안심일 테니
다 엉망이잖아
너에게는 다시 봄이지만
내 계절은 변하지 않아
내 마음이 또 싹튼다 해도
(I've got no tomorrow)

Baby there's no
No tomorrow
그때 그대로
난 멈춰있고
마지막
그 순간에 머문 시간
너에겐
그전 지난날이지만
Baby there's no no no no no
(No more) tomorrow
(Till you comeback everyday is yesterday)
Baby there's no no no no no
(No more) tomorrow

속은 텅 빈
죽은 미소인데
너를 만날 때보다
좋아 보인대
이젠 한숨이 놓인대
난 솜이 조이네
미소가 나만 못 속이네 Yeah
평밤해지긴 했어
마음이 짐이 돼서
많이 비워냈어
정말 미치겠어
내겐 들리지 않는 위로들
제발 그만해
사랑은 다른 사랑으로 잊는다는 말
너에겐 이별보다
쓸쓸한 만남일 테니
시간이 다 해결해준다는 말
너에겐 매순간이
죽은듯한 삶일 테니
그래 사랑이란 건
받는다고 갖는 게
시간이란 건
걷는다고 가는 게
사람은 숨을 쉰다고 사는 게
아닌 걸 이젠 아는데

No no more tomorrow
No no more tomorrow
네가 돌아올 때까진

No no
No more tomorrow
네가 돌아올 때까진

No no
No more tomorrow

Baby there's no
No tomorrow
그때 그대로
난 멈춰있고
마지막
그 순간에 머문 시간
너에겐
그전 지난날이지만
Baby there's no no no no no
(No more) tomorrow
(Till you comeback everyday is yesterday)
Baby there's no no no no no
(No more) tomorrow
(Till you comeback everyday is yesterday)
Baby there's no no no no no
(No more) tomorrow
(Till you comeback everyday is yesterday)
Baby there's no no no no no
(No more) tomorrow
(Till you comeback everyday is yesterday)

cr. shaboored @ blogspot

litlle words

no, not a major update hehe

sorry i forget about this blog a lot.

so ummmm well, i just suddenly remembered about this blog and decided to write something (not important)

that's for today folks, i'll update later (idk when "later" is, though)

hehe byeeeeeeeee

k

duh, just a short update (about korea)

oh yes baby, korea.

as you know, I'm totally into Super Junior (or may called SuJu) right now. but guess what......... uhm too bad these guys stole my heart too hehehehe

DBSK! YESSSSS I LOVE THEM! hahahaha

okay, that's all wakakakak

favourite things

yayaya tau dong lo gue lagi suka banget sama Super Junior atau SuJu

jujur aja, gue ga peduli2 amat mau dibilang freak kek, ato maniac, jujur ga peduli banget malah. HELLO, I MEAN, THEY'RE LIKE TOTALLY COOL! AWESOME! HANDSOME! OUTSTANDING! ahahahah lebay, ya bodoin lah, emang keren kok, kalo ga percaya cari aja video2 nya di youtube! ya for girls aja kali yah, ga menyarankan buat cowok, ahahah tp kalo mau buka jg gapapa kok.

Noerago :D

another suju

SUPER JUNIOR <3

atas (ki-ka): Ki Bum, Shin Dong, Yesung, Han Kyung (geng), Shi Won, Kyu Hyun, Kang In, Eunhyuk, Leeteuk

bawah (ki-ka): Sung Min, Dong Hae, Ryeo Wook, Hee Chul

*di barisan bawah gue cuma yakin sm heechul doang, jadi kalo ketuker maaf ya*

okay, gue mau ngasih tau anggota suju satu persatu hehehehe

Leeteuk

Leetuk itu Leader of the band, karena dia yg tua. ntah kenapa dia  bisa jadi cantik dan

 ganteng.............

Kiri: it's you MV

Kanan: Happiness MV

dan jujur gue suka banget sama dia hahaha tapi bukan yg paling gue favoritin

Hee Chul

is the most beautiful member of the band. LIAT DONG SENYUMNYA cantik bangettt

ya dia bisa cantik dan ganteng juga sih, tp dibanding yg lain, dia itu sisi cantik nya paling pol -_-

YEAH lihat sendiri 

dia bahkan lbh cantik dari cewek umumnya

._.

kalo mau ditanya, ini dia member favorit gue di suju (sebenernya favorit gue sama dira sih)

ahahaha lucu ya :3

Han Geng/ Kyung

Han Geng itu kalo ga salah aslinya orang china, gue jg gatau kenapa dia bisa nyasar ke korea =_=a

dia bukan favorit gue kalo blh jujur, dia malah salah satu anggota yg paling invisible buat gue

*maaf ya han geng dan penggemarnya* hahaha well ada ngak ada dia, buat gue life goes on ahahah

Yesung

NAH yesung ini, kalo lo liat du MV yang "U", lo mungkin akan beranggapan kalo dia mirip sama s****n ahahah salah satu artis indie ibu kota lah pokoknya. eh gatau sih lo bakal mikir gitu apa ngak, tp kalo gue sih iya banget hehe

Kang In

yak si Kang In ini menurut gue agak berisi ndut gitu, tp ga gendut sih ahhahah

sebenernya dia itu invisible 2 buat gue ahaha jadi sekali lagi maaf yaaaa ;D

Shin Dong

Shin Dong itu anggota paling gendut, tp jago nari

lucu sekali yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa :33333

Sung Min

deredengdenggggg......... maaf ya si sung min disini agak aneh, tp kalo lo mau liat foto lain.....

LUCU YAAAAAAA :D 

Eunhyuk

EAAAAA fisrt impression gue ke dia itu KEREN, JAGO NARI, MANTEP!

tapi waktu gue liat di MV nya "U" krik......................... SALAH, muka dia salah BANGET haha

tapi akhirnya gue suka juga sih, sekarang gaya dia keren kok asik2 gmn gituuuu

It's You MV

cukup tau aja dia itu termasuk lead dancer nya SuJu karena jago banget nari ;)

Shi Won

Naaahh ini nih kesukaan si sasa ahahha

si rawon -_- ahahah

menurut gue sih, diantara yg lain, dia yg paling keliatan "cowok"nya ahaha

Dong Hae

kalo Dong Hae itu kesukaannya icha hahah

jujur gue ga apal2 amat ama dia, jadi kalo dia potong rambut...........

jeng jeng jeng, gue harus belajar ulang tentang sosok barunya =_=a

Ryeo Wook

duh, ini dia nih, anggota SuJu yg plg gue gasuka,  gak benci cuma gasuka aja hehe

don't get it wrong ya, no special reason kok. cuma ada yg salah aja di dia dan FATAL, tp gue gatau apa, pokoknya salah deh ahahha

Ki Bum

NAHUAHUAHUA INI DIA, idola paling universal

gaada yg boleh me-monopolize! ahaha karena semuanya sukaaaa

guantengnya pol, mau botak pun ya emg dari sana ganteng, ya tetep aja ganteng

lucu banget............... ga kuat liatnyaaa *semaput*

Kyu Hyun

Mr. Perfect nya SuJu!

ganteng, jago nari, jago nyanyi................. semuanya

ahuahuaha ganteng kan?

yaaaahh jadi itulah idola baru gue :3

semoga semua juga suka yaaaa ;D

Super Junior :3 (my new idol)

YES I HAVE A NEW IDOL NOW

SUPER JUNIOR!!!!!!!!!

<3333